I Will Remember You
by DeityOfDeath
Summary: Duo passes away leaving Wufei and Heero lost, their memories are all that's left. Or are they? A lesson in Duo words could help them through this difficult time.


Title: I Will Remember You Author: DeityOfDeath Archive: Yes please...... Pairings: 1x2x5 , 3x4 Category: Drama, romance Rating: PG. 13 Spoilers: Maybe......... Episode Zero hints. Warnings: Yaoi. Death fic. Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Gundam Wing or it's chars. They are property of Bandai and a few other major companies. The Lyrics used in this fic are "I will remember you" by Sarah McLachlan.  
  
This Fic is dedicated to Abigail Wright. I will never understand how you can gain such a precious gift and then loose it just when you get to enjoy it. August 12, 2003 - August 20, 2003. Give Em' Hell in Heaven Abby~!  
  
:: Memories:: ~ are used for the lyrics.  
  
I Will Remember You  
  
Wufei stood looking out over the horizon on the hill called Peaceful hills. He sneered and growled stomping the ground. He clenched his fists and looked out at the fading sunlight, cursing any being that could possibly control this unfair, unjust and cruel world. Why would the heavens send an angel if they intended on taking it back? Why?  
  
He slumped down on to his knee's and let out a strangled wail. A wail of pain and anger he had been holding for the past few month's. He screamed into the air, at no one and anyone.  
  
In the distance stood Quatre who watched Wufei with heart filled sympathy. He knew the Chinese youth needed time alone, time to sort out his feelings and let out all his anger, pain and sadness. It wasn't going to be easy. No, it wasn't. He couldn't judge Wufei because he knew himself, that he himself would never get over losing such a precious angel as Duo. He wiped at his own freely falling tears and looked skyward, awaiting the answer they had all wanted to know. Why?  
  
He thought back to first meeting the charismatic pilot and how he seemed to brighten a room when he entered it and caused an uproar everywhere he went. He remembered how Duo teased him and Trowa about the way they would casually cuddle and kiss in front of the others and how rewarding it had been seeing him kissing Wufei on the love seat one chilly Friday afternoon.  
  
~I will remember you Will you remember me?~  
  
A pair of strong arms wrapped around Quatre's neck and he leaned into the familiar form sniffling as the urge to wail and cry out loud began to grow. His hand snaked its way up to tenderly caress Trowa's cheeks and his hands came away covered in a wetness. He turned around in the pair of arms and looked into the quaking emerald depth's. He wiped at the tears along those high cheek bones once before burying himself into that barreled chest hoping it would muffle his cries.  
  
Trowa wrapped his arms tighter around Quatre's body, hoping he could give him the bit of strength he had been able to retain during this painful ordeal, finding some success. His only flaw seemed to be the salty tears making a path from his eyes to his throat. He didn't know how to make it without the braided youth's smile and mocking. He missed how Duo could take any sad situation and turn it around and have everyone crying from laughter. He missed how that braid bobbed up and down as Duo talked and rattled on animatedly about the days events and how it sailed through the air when he ran from Heero and Wufei's threats and then their moves to back up their threats. No one could fill those black boots, pants and priest collar. No one.  
  
~Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories~  
  
Heero sat on a wooden pew looking straight ahead at a shiny black coffin. A coffin, he knew what belonged in a coffin. Bodies. But this was no body. This was his body. Not 'his' body, but the body of the one he had loved. His love. Something he thought he'd never feel. Something he had learned and gained with Duo and Wufei along with acceptance and friendship. He stared at the black coffin waiting. Waiting for something. Waiting for something, anything. He half heartedly hoped that Duo would pop up smiling and laughing, saying it was all a big joke. But that wouldn't happen. He had sat in this same building for 2 nights and watched intently, trying to comprehend. Comprehend? Comprehend what? The fact that Duo, the once energetic and life resonating figure was now gone. Gone? Where had he gone? His body was still here. His braid still tightly bound, his eyes closed and his face covered with make up making him look like he was sleeping quietly in that shiny box.  
  
He knew better. He was there in the hospital. He held that once warm left hand as the life had left 'his' body. He heard that last breath and saw those violet depth's close, taking with them his dreams and hopes. He felt that hand grow limp and he heard the slight commotion behind him and felt himself pushed back as if caught in a sea of people. He saw those paddles and he heard the sound of a body hitting a bed repeatedly. He heard that drone beep and then he heard nothing. All sound left. All the smiles were gone and with them an angel.  
  
He felt a drop hit his clenched hands and his head involuntarily looked down. There on top of his tight white knuckled thumbs sat an oval shaped pool, no bigger than a rain drop. To his surprise another soon joined it. He blinked and felt a wetness slip out of his eyes, trailing down his cheeks. He looked back up at that coffin, that black shiny box and let those tears continue to fall.  
  
~Remember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got bad~  
  
Wufei sat on his knee's feeling the tears recede as he thought back to when Duo had first started changing. When he started to sleep in later and go to bed earlier. When he started disappearing during odd times and come home looking exhausted with a tear stained face.  
  
:: Duo came home slipping inside quietly, carrying a small paper bag. He tiptoed into the living room and smiled seeing no one around. He opened the bag taking out 3 prescription bottles and slipped them into his Jean pockets. He then stood and walked over to the fireplace and tossed the bag inside, striking a match. He watched as the bag caught and soon became a smoldering pile of ashes and then he turned to stand, bumping into something, someone.  
  
He looked up seeing Wufei and he paled by three shades and cleared his throat.  
  
"Hey, Fei~!"  
  
"Where have you been? We've been worried," said Wufei looking concerned.  
  
Duo smiled and wrapped his arms around Wufei, leaning into that muscled chest and sighed.  
  
"Sorry Wu-bear. I just went to the store." ::  
  
"I should have known you were hiding something then," he said into the wind. He then remembered coming home on "that night."  
  
:: "Duo~! I'm home~!", he shouted as he closed the door and slipped off his shoes.  
  
He walked into the living room and saw the TV on but no sign of Heero or Duo. He turned the TV off and made his way upstairs and into the spare bedroom that had become Heero's study, opening the door and peaking inside. He shook his head berating himself when he remembered that Heero had a Preventeer mission that weekend. He made his way back downstairs and decided to check the kitchen for any sign of Duo. Upon entering the kitchen he stopped in his tracks when he saw Duo sprawled out on the kitchen floor, glass and blood scattered along the wooden floor. He panicked and knelt down gingerly lifting Duo into his arms, carrying him into the living room. He laid him gently on the couch and called paramedics. He looked Duo over while waiting, covering severe cuts here and there with rags.  
  
He went in the ambulance and sat in the emergency room until a doctor came out to inform him of what was wrong and when he heard the news he felt his heart fall. He followed the doctor into a room smelling of bleach and saw a pale imitation of Duo laying in a bed covered with white cotton sheets. He pulled a chair up to the bed and took Duo's hand in both of his and was overjoyed when those amethyst eyes opened and a small smile formed on that cherub face.  
  
"Hi.........Fei"  
  
"Oh Gods Duo~!" he yelled out before thinking and leaned in burying his face in Duo's neck trying to stop the on coming tears.  
  
Duo lifted his free arm and softly patted and rubbed the back of Wufei's neck and head, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Fei-babe. I should have. I'm sorry you had to come home and find me like that."  
  
"Duo, you should have told us!" Wufei shouted into the pillows causing it to be muffled.  
  
"What if.......What if......"  
  
"No what ifs WuWu. It's just cancer." :::  
  
"Just cancer....................." said Wufei into the deepening blue night.  
  
******************************************************************  
  
Wufei had found himself escorted into Quatre's mansion and before he knew it he was sitting on a large couch. He watched as Quatre and Trowa; his escorts, left the room to get them some tea. He looked around the usually bright and cheery room and wondered why it didn't seem so bright. He wondered where Heero had gone and he found himself longing for those silent arms to hold him. Why was it he missed things when they were gone?  
  
He saw the many picture frames standing up along the entertainment center across the room and many more along the walls, all throughout the house. He stood and walked over to the entertainment center. Glancing from picture to picture. Most of the pictures were of them. The five of them, singles, groups, couples and with friends.  
  
~How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one. ~  
  
He saw a picture of Duo in the pool splashing Quatre and Relena while Hilde sat on a peach floaty laughing. He remembered how Relena and Quatre had dunked her right after the picture was taken. Pictures from their vacation in Hawaii were scattered on top the radio system. A Picture of Duo in a hula skirt and leigh playing a yukalele was next to the two pictures he had cherished the most. The pictures that Quatre had taken while he and Duo were cuddling under the shade of a coconut tree on the beach and the other picture of Heero with them the next morning on the beach cuddling with the sun shining in the loose chestnut tresses that covered both he and Heero. He found himself following the trail of pictures out of the living room and down the halls as he found pictures of them camping with Duo proving that his outfit was most appropriate for hiking by pointing to Wufei and Heero, so that Quatre could take a picture of the calamine lotion covered duet.  
  
He found himself smiling in spite of the emptiness he felt. He even chuckled after seeing pictures of Duo doing the hula with a group of very attractive hula dancers. He found himself upstairs and it was ironic that he stood outside of their guest bedroom. The bedroom where he had first become one with Duo. He leaned against the door taking a deep breath before opening it. Inside the familiar smell of chocolate, leather and Duo's cologne filled his senses. He made his way to that king size bed with its satin black sheets and ran his fingers along the satin until he came to the top of the bed. He stared at the bed seeing an image of Duo laying there smiling up at him.  
  
"Fei? Are you going to stand there and stare all night or are you going to join me?"  
  
His fingers trembled as he reached out to that image but found nothing but thin air. He let himself fall into the middle of the bed and stared up at the ceiling, like he had so many nights before with Duo.  
  
:: "Fei, will you stay with me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Am I a bad person?"  
  
Wufei turned to look into those deep eyes and speculated as to what he had meant, "Why did you ask that?"  
  
"I love you and I love Hee-chan. Doesn't that make me greedy and lustful and well......bad?"  
  
"Love is love, Duo. You would not be able to feel love if the gods did not want you to."  
  
Duo smiled snuggling into coppery arms.  
  
"Wo Ai Ni, Fei."  
  
"Wo Ai No, Duo." ::  
  
He found himself lost in that memory and found that the tears had once again returned. He wished that he would soon be too empty to cry, but he knew that with as much as Duo had filled him and made him feel complete, that he would cry until he had no reason. And with that thought the weariness and sorrow pulled him into sleep, lulled by Duo's smell and pleasant memories.  
  
~I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories. ~  
  
****************************************************************  
  
~I'm so tired but I can't sleep Standin' on the edge of something much too deep It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard. ~  
  
The next day found everyone in a church that was only a few feet from the cemetery. Inside that church Heero sat in the same spot he had been in for the past 3 days with his eyes starring down the casket as if it would disappear due to his glare. Many people stood in front of the masses who had shown up and talked about Duo, retelling favorite stories and declaring how much they would miss him. Time seemed to roll by and finally it rolled to Wufei and Heero who walked up hand in hand to that small wooden podium and with their heads down they waited. They had waited so long to feel a happiness that came with peace and now that they had it, they had lost it again.  
  
Heero let the tears that had fallen unknown to others the other day, now fall freely with an odd smile upon his face. He took Wufei's hand in his own and gripped it tightly as he cleared his throat.  
  
"I had fought with him only three years ago and we had become so much more than friends when all was said and done. He always had a smile and a joke or pout and a whine when things didn't go his way. He was energetic and annoying, clingy and talkative. He slept in late and stayed up late. He liked loud music and anime and insisted that I should listen or watch with him. He used to make me growl in frustration and somehow......somehow he had worked his way into my heart. He helped discover that I had one."  
  
Wufei chuckled wiping away tears and squeezed Heero's hand as he began, "He liked chocolate and odd things I didn't understand. He would cry while watching the sunrise and dance naked in the hallway. He was clinically insane and yet he was everything I wanted to be. He seemed care free and yet, he carried our weight. The weight of hearts and souls that had been burdened. We had depended on him. But before he passed away he taught me something."  
  
Wufei wiped at his eyes and sniffled clearing his throat once again, "He was sitting with me in his bedroom, tired and sore from his therapy and medication and we were discussing mundane things and somehow I brought up my family, my clan. I had wondered aloud if anyone else would remember them besides me. Duo laughed and pulled me onto the bed. He ruffled my hair and pulled the rubber band out and just when I was going to yell at him he said,  
  
"Memories are important to the living. They give them hope and a reason to keep going. They act as a guide, a reason to smile and reason to look forward to seeing those you knew again. Memories are nice but don't get caught up in them. Live for the future, for the now and for the tomorrow."  
  
"I asked him, Don't you want to be remembered? and he looked at me grinning."  
  
"Ofcourse, but don't get lost in memories. Remember occasionally. Look out that window, there's a whole world out there. I don't think your clan and family would want you living in the past or using it as a reason or crutch for your decisions. It's OK to use them that way but I know that I would be a lot happier knowing your smiling and living life and exploring this world, not letting life pass you by because your lost in memories. Like the song says,"  
  
~But I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories. ~  
  
Wufei turned towards that black coffin and looked inside. He felt his heart constrict at the sight before him but he smiled and then in a soft baritone he sang,  
  
"~I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light. ~  
  
He silently leaned down placing a kiss on Duo's cold lips before walking over to the first set of pews where Quatre stood up and took Wufei into his arms sobbing. Heero stared down at Duo realizing that Wufei was right and that Duo would laugh at him if he had saw him like this. He would have comforted him and then said something to make him growl in anger or laugh. He reached into his pocket taking out a familiar gold cross and unclasped it slipping it around Duo's neck and clasping it again. He leaned down and kissed the once warm smiling cheeks and then those cold lips and stood up straight watching as the minister said a prayer and closed the lid. A group of elite Preventeer's walked up in marching style and saluted Heero and Wufei and then walked up to the casket and split up into two equal groups of six. Five of the men lifted the casket while one stood in front and one in back. They then began walking towards the door with Heero and Wufei falling in behind and from there the other attendee's who ranged from Lady Une, Sally Po, Noin, Hilde, Catherine, Zechs and Howard to the maguanac's and fellow Preventeer's.  
  
~And I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories. ~  
  
They marched to a large dirt hole under a large oak tree and they stopped. The Preventeer's settled the casket down on a metal lift, stood back and saluted. A lilting melody filled the air and three feminine voices filled the air singing as the casket was lowered into the hole. Heero and Wufei stood side by side crying, holding each other and as odd as it seemed they found themselves singing along. Before they had understood it, the entire procession had begun singing along.  
  
Wufei thought about how much Duo had done for him and Heero when he heard cooing. He looked up and saw a pure white dove sitting in the oak tree and as soon as they had gotten to the last verse the dove cooed and flew away, leaving white feathers behind that floated gracefully down into the grave, landing on the coffin in a cross shape.  
  
~And I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Weep not for the memories~  
  
It had been a year since then and Heero and Wufei stood under the oak tree leaving two dozen red roses and after each had their own moment of privacy at the gravestone they began walking away quietly hugging each other, not looking back as the sky went from a light blue to a deep blazing pink and orange.  
  
The gravestone's polished surface glimmered in the florescent light with its carvings of Celtic cross and roses. On a plaque in front of it was an engraved, a picture of Dedath Scythe Hell and a picture of Duo smiling. A shadow cast itself over the grave stone and a pale hand traced over the top of the gravestone before vanishing, black feathers floating down and disappearing in shimmering wakes.  
  
The End~  
  
Authors Words: Just like the words of the song say, "Don't your life pass you by" No matter how little the time or how long; don't spend your time lost in the past and memories. Live life and live it for them. Live it to the fullest and enjoy every minute detail from the color of the sky to the shades of color on the wings of a butterfly. Life is too precious to waste.  
  
Kat 


End file.
